Something happened last Saturday
That knocked me off for the entire week.

I had a conversation with someone.

Not a bad conversation.
Actually a pretty pleasant conversation.

Still…
The conversation took my mind & mood
Down a rabbit hole
I still feel I’m stuck in.

There are a couple of lessons
That I’ve gleamed for it.

One…

How easily my mind & energy can be affected
By anyone.

I spent most of last year
In what I’d call a “retreat.”

I withdrew from people & activities.
I kept to myself.

I remain in this process –
Unsure yet when I’ll come out.

I did learn one important thing:

Things affect me in ways
I didn’t realize before.

It’s as if quieting the noise,
Spending time alone allowed me
To clear out old energy.

Start off each day clean.

And, feel the true effects of everything.

The second lesson…

Something I learned the hard way
A few years ago.

We have become addicted to seeking.

We want more knowledge.
More insight.
More opinions.
More options.

More of everything…

One answer isn’t enough.
Good isn’t enough.
Nothing is enough.

It’s as if we’ve come to believe
A magical (insert any number of things)
Will deliver us what we seek.

Seeking implies an answer
Lives somewhere out there.

Yet, in terms of health, well being, self care…
(Maybe in terms of most things)

The answers we need are within.

Our lesson is to listen.
To listen to ourselves.
To go within.

On some level,
We know this.

But the addiction to all things external
Blinds our path.

Seeking, while begun for the right reasons,
Becomes warped as it
Turns into something that
Stands in the way
Of the very thing we seek.

All around us so called experts
Pop up offering their advice.

Listen to me.
Do what I say.
It will change your life.

Maybe it will.
More than likely, it won’t.

When it doesn’t,
Blame doesn’t lie in the hands of the other.
We take it on ourselves.
We internalize it.

Why wouldn’t it work for us
If it apparently worked for everyone else?

So, we move on to something else.

(As the process repeats itself.)

Or, maybe it does work.
Are you going to be happy there?

Probably not.

You’ll always be wondering
What else (that’s better) is out there?

Seeking has become a buzz word
For a spiritual path.

But there’s nothing spiritual
About this addiction we have.

It won’t make us healthy.
It won’t cure our ills.

And, it won’t bring us enlightenment.

It will only bring us angst.

So, do yourself a favor…

Stop seeking.

Everything we search for out there
Will be found when
We are finally quiet & still.

Until we get to that point,
We’re simply taking another form
Of a society approved pill.

 



Christie
Christie
Obvious self care enthusiast. Long time yoga practitioner. Introvert. Avid reader. Obsessive learner. Perpetual student.

Also blogging at accountableformyself.com

Read more about my personal journey.

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